This video is a long time coming. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that I don't have to worry about getting flagged anymore and saying what I need to say.
I am not trying to bring more drama. I'm just stating what I need to in this open vletter in order to clear my space or clean my closet.
It hurt me very much that I was put in the middle, to be manipulated to hurt Terri, one of my favourite people on YouTube. She may not consider me to be close to her, but I consider her to be my loving friend and teacher.
I've learned so much from her. I've even been refreshed on the LTV!
Regarding Antiquelens, I know she looks up to me as someone she can go to. I hope you see this Ash, and I hope that you can find it in yourself to get to know me more. Again, I feel the same way about you that I do about Terri. I feel you are a loving friend.
Jedi, I think you have a crush on me! LOL! I also hope that we get to know each other better as well. All three of you are considered close to me.
I am a very very difficult when it comes to allowing people in. I've been hurt in so many ways in my short time on this planet. However, I would like to have that kind of close friendship with all of you. To me there's no doubts in my loyalty and while it's true that I feel a bit hurt that you didn't mirror my latest vid on my latest suspension, and none of you mentioned the hate group directed at me, I hope that you can see why that would hurt me.
I fight for you without you having to ask. Whenever there's a problem I get a video in my inbox and I go from there to be there for all of you. Maybe you will see now how I feel about all of you. Maybe you'll understand me better in how I view you and the next time I'm hurt, you won't think 'ah, she's too tough. She won't be affected by it.' Maybe that's the way you see me. I'm tough but I'm human too, and I do get hurt.
Let's try to get to know each other more because if there were any people on YouTube that I would like that with, it would be all of you.
This Vletter is part of my closure. I hope it's the last video I will ever have to make on this subject.